Impact survey results: mental health crisis among separated dads

A new impact survey of Both Parents Matter members has revealed that separated fathers are facing a mental health emergency, with rates of suicidal thinking nearly double those found in the general male population.

The report surveyed 240 separated fathers, as well as grandparents and other family members, and its conclusions are deeply concerning. The results build on previous academic research establishing that, whilst family breakdowns can lead to mental health problems for both partners, it is men who are far more at risk of depression and suicide after divorce. Key findings include:

Alarmingly high rates of suicidal thinking: 37.3% of separated fathers reported suicidal thoughts before contacting the charity for support — nearly double the national average for men (18.7%).

Family court processes as a trigger: Many respondents cited contact denial with their children, delays in proceedings, emotional isolation and false allegations as key drivers of mental distress.

Intergenerational harm: The emotional damage suffered by fathers affects their children profoundly, whether through weakened parenting capacity, the denial of contact or, tragically, paternal suicide.

Broader societal impact: With 1 in 5 children in the UK not living with a father figure, the long-term consequences for life chances, mental health and social cohesion are substantial.

Encouragingly, the report also shows that fathers who accessed Both Parents Matter’s services — peer-led support groups, information and mentoring — experienced significant improvements in wellbeing. For example, 73% reported increased knowledge of family law, 80% felt more confident in progressing child contact issues and many testified that the charity’s support had been life-saving.

Despite this, systemic challenges remain entrenched. Respondents consistently highlighted the lack of legal aid, ineffective enforcement of court orders, delays in proceedings and inadequate recognition of the importance of both parents in a child’s life. These issues echo the charity’s previous 2020 research and the body of research evidence in this area, which Dr. Barry rightly describes as “serious, ongoing and overlooked by the powers that be.”

The conclusion is clear: current family court processes are contributing unnecessarily to poor mental health outcomes and, in some cases, to the loss of fathers’ lives. Unless fathers are absent due to violence or genuine risk, children benefit enormously from the involvement of both parents and their wider family networks. Denying or restricting this involvement harms children, both parents and society as a whole.

You can read a summary of the Impact Survey here

To request a full copy of the Impact Survey please contact admin@bothparentsmatter.org.uk

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What Our Service Users Say

” What an amazing organisation, offering help, support and advice. A really informative and pioneering charity. Thank you! ”

DadNovember 2023

“ Excellent charity, and volunteers that gives hope and support with practical information, not only to fathers but grandparents / extended family too. A lifeline in devastating situations where ultimately the children are the focus. If contact with your child or grandchild is broken, this is the organization for all relevant information, support and understanding. ”

DadOctober 2023

” I don’t know how I would have coped without the Shared Parenting knowledge and empowerment from the peer support of Both Parents Matter.”

MumAugust 2023

” Both Parents Matter taught me about the realities of the UK Family Court system at a time when I was very vulnerable and in need of guidance. Their ‘Surviving Separation’ course is excellent. ”

DadSeptember 2023

” The only charity to support any parent or grandparent to regain contact with their child or children, I regularly attend the Manchester group once a month to provide support. ”

Dad September 2023

” Without this group I would have been lost. I am the grandmother of a son who had his children taken away by the mother and false allegations submitted to ensure no contact. It has been heart breaking but reading the stories, being part of a community and having access to meetings gives information, advice and the hope and knowledge that it can change. I will keep supporting my son and grandchildren so they are together in the future. ”

GrandmotherAugust 2023

” An inclusive organisation that supports mothers, fathers, and ultimately children. I have personally found their support to be invaluable and truly believe it has saved my life and helped me become a stronger, resilient, and positive human being, father, and husband. They have educated and coached with my own personal development, positive co-parenting, positive parenting, and Family Court and the legal/court process. In that order. The peer-to-peer support is unmatched…I’ve never experienced a more active and supportive group of individuals brought together by a single goal – Happy Families! ”